My Brother Gets Mad at Video Games and Takes It Out on Family

Is your child playing video games instead of doing schoolwork? Is he avoiding social situations—and is his behavior worsening every bit a effect of constant gaming? I've heard the agony and concern in the voices of many, many parents whose kids seem to spend all their time playing video games.

Every bit one parent said, "I worry that my son might be addicted. When I shut the game off, he freaks out and goes ballistic! I simply don't know what to do."

If you're worried nearly the amount of time your kid spends gaming, you're not solitary. Indeed, information technology is a frequent topic that we hear virtually from parents in our Parent Coaching calls.

What'southward more than, in 2010 the Kaiser Family Foundation surveyed 2,000 children ages 8-18 in 2010 and found children's screen time totals an average of vii hours and 38 minutes per solar day. Do the math: that'south more than than 53 hours per week in front of a screen—more than a full-fourth dimension chore!

But understand that even if your kid is playing a lot of games and gets angry when you prepare limits, it doesn't mean he has an habit. In fact, while there is much buzz about "video game addiction" these days, information technology's not yet recognized every bit a true disorder past the American Psychiatric Association.

In this article I discuss how you can gear up some limits on your kid's gaming. I also give you some uncomplicated guidelines to help effigy out whether or not your kid'south video game use could become pathological—or in other words, unhealthy or addiction-like. Finally, I'm besides going to reveal some well-kept secrets your kids don't desire y'all to know about their game systems. Yous're going to dearest it, although your kids may not!

When Video Game Utilize Crosses the Line

Every bit a parent of a child who plays video games, computer games, or games on handheld devices similar cell phones, it's important to take a look at your child's overall functioning at domicile, at schoolhouse, in their social circle and their mental or psychological functioning. First, permit's take a moment to consider some positives about video games: Some games are educational, some promote physical activity, and when played with others games can help children develop the skills of sharing and cooperation. Video games can besides foster resilience and they can even help to strengthen children'southward trouble-solving skills and patience in challenging situations.

Now I know there are many of you lot out in that location who are really struggling with your kids' video game use and see no positives in information technology whatsoever. This is a really tough place to be. Video game designers create the games to be highly engaging and to make the user want to go along playing. Children specially can accept a very hard time stopping one time they get stuck in the positive feedback loops (or reward cycles) these games create. Here are some things to look for that might mean your child's video game use is becoming unhealthy:

• Your child's life seems to be dominated by video games. They seem to be his simply motivator and occupy the majority of his thinking. He talks non-terminate about video games when he'south not playing them and spends a lot of time learning about them or planning his side by side opportunity to play.
• Your child'due south social interactions inside and outside of the home accept been negatively impacted—friendships seem to have dwindled, your child has withdrawn from social activities he used to enjoy, and family relationships are strained or suffering because of your child's video game use.
• Your child'due south grades are declining or his hygiene is chronically neglected considering of his video game utilise.
• Stopping video games for any reason has a long-lasting negative impact on your child's emotions. He becomes depressed, moody, angry, aggressive or violent when he is unable to play.
• Your child has stolen video games from stores or friends, or stolen money from others in gild to buy video games, more than once. He frequently lies well-nigh how much time he spends playing video games.

And so what can you do to limit your child's video game playing and create good for you boundaries around it? For some of you, this will be more challenging than for others. Some kids are much more than deeply involved with video games and setting limits in these cases will exist harder.

Hither are some ideas to get yous started:

1. Decide If Y'all Need More Support

If nigh of the higher up examples sound like your child, or if your child becomes destructive, aggressive, threatening or violent when you effort to enforce or set limits on their gaming, it might exist helpful for you to talk to someone in your area who can work straight with you and your child as yous make changes. This might mean talking to your child'south pediatrician or working with a local therapist to determine what kinds of changes are advisable, how to answer to negative beliefs, and how to effectively enforce  your limits with your child.

two. Outset Off Slowly

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting video games to one 60 minutes per day.  And while it can exist tempting to dramatically cut dorsum your child's access to games, or want to remove them from your domicile altogether, information technology might be more than helpful to first off slowly. Let your child know yous are starting to question whether video games have a place in your abode because they seem to cause a lot of problems. Offer a couple specific examples, such equally "When I tell you lot information technology's fourth dimension to turn them off, you employ calumniating language. And, your grades have gone from B's and C'due south to D's and F'due south since you started playing _______." Let your child know that instead of getting rid of the games right now, you're going to try a new rule commencement—and that their ability to follow that rule or non will help you decide if the games stay.

3. Be Specific

Allow your child know what guidelines you lot are going to be using to make up one's mind if video games are working out or not. James Lehman talks about four questions yous can utilize to assess a new limit in your home:

• What volition we run across if this is working?
• What will we do if this is working?
• What will we see if this is not working?
• What will we do if this is not working?

Y'all'll want to actually get over these questions and answers with your kid. For case, yous might say, "From now on the video games need to be turned off by eight pm. If this is working, I'll see yous turning them off by 8 without beingness abusive, and your grades might even get improve in school. If this happens, nosotros'll keep it going. If this doesn't work, I'll see yous putting up a fight at 8 pm and continuing to play later on than that. If that happens, you'll lose your game privileges for the next solar day."

four. Problem Solve

Work together with your kid to find a new technique he can use to effort to shut downward the video games in a much more than timely style. For instance, perhaps you discuss the idea of your child fugitive sure more than engaging games at certain times, or prepare a reward organization for turning the game off when a timer goes off. As well consider how your child can cope with the unpleasant feelings acquired by stopping the game, or discuss what other fun activities he tin can do if he'south bored. Talk these things over with your child to assist him be successful.

5. Exist Empowered

Permit's face it: the user menus on these games are oft not very easy to use. But, I establish that well-nigh of these companies have websites with instructions for setting up parental controls. And get fix for this, parents: did you lot know that Xbox is equipped with a family timer? Yous can plan the console to shut itself off later the allotted gaming time has been used up for the day!

Here are some links to some websites for more information about parental controls. If you discover the instructions on the web difficult to sympathise, call the company'southward customer support phone number for more assist. If you're dealing with an Apple product, stop in to your local Apple tree shop for support.

• Nintendo Game Systems: Wii, Nintendo DS
• X-Box 360
• Playstation Game Systems: Playstation 4
• Apple Products: iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch on

Antisocial—and in the Basement

We've already talked a lot nearly setting up some clear structure for your kids—limiting their time on games or having a clear off-fourth dimension, with some logical consequences or rewards. Some parents also find information technology helpful to plant regular "family fourth dimension" during which yous do something as a family and in that location are curt-term consequences for not participating. You could as well require your child to participate in some sort of group activity once per week, such as a sport, club, or youth group.

The key here is to let your child choose the activity. Until they choose an activeness, y'all might restrict their game use on the weekends to encourage fourth dimension with friends. One time they cull and begin an action, let them know they don't get any access to video games at all that solar day if they don't attend a scheduled practice or meeting.

Mayhap the trickiest thing of all is that in that location is no cookie-cutter formula to determine how much video game time is likewise much, or what limits and consequences are appropriate for your child. Every child is different. Some children are able to shift into a different activity more hands, while others are more vulnerable targets for the highly rewarding design of the games. In the finish you just take to trust your gut and go with what feels right for your family.

For more information please visit:

www.esrb.org

http://onguardonline.gov/articles/0270-kids-parents-and-video-games

Related Content:
Am I Being Besides Strict? How to Safely Give Your Child More Freedom
Setting Limits with Difficult Kids: How to Get Them to Listen

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Source: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/does-my-child-have-a-video-game-addiction-how-to-set-limits-around-video-game-use/

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